Generation gap on post-partum and newborn care, Part II

Part I was primarily on the sit-month diet, Part II is about everything else.

So before Isaac was born, Cindy's parents "strongly suggested" us to buy pure cotton "layers" (without a better word to describe it) for wiping clean Isaac in diaper change. No, it's not cotton swabs, not Q-tips, and not cotton balls. It's some semi-structured, not quite like a fabric, very soft slabs of cotton. According to them, because baby's skin is so soft and delicate, any other forms of material would hurt their skin.

Both Cindy's and my initial reaction are like, "wtf?" First of all, there are things called baby wipes that are sold explicitly for this purpose. Yes, there could be chemical and fragrances which baby's skin can become allergic to, I give you that. But apparently washcloths, 100% cotton fabric, are not delicate enough to their standard.

Cindy being an obedient child, obliged, and went on to hunt for this cotton layers thing. No, can't find it Walmart, can't find it in Shoppers Drug Mart health department... but Cindy manages to find a Shiseido facial cotton sheets, in the beauty department in Shoppers Drug Mart, for like $12! She bought it; me being a cheap-ass, obviously find it too expensive.

After birth, Cindy parents also brought this cotton layers thing to us. I've tried using it, and it is difficult to use. I first have to tear off a desired amount, some small bits of which would also fall off and flying everywhere. Second I have to dip just the right amount of water to have the right moisture; too wet it becomes dripping wet, too dry I end up rubbing dry cotton on Isaac's ass. All these procedures while Isaac is screaming his lungs out, my hands could have been dirty already with poo. At least the expensive Shiseido ones are a lot easier to use, and moisture control is also a lot easier.

But who on earth would think this is necessary? Seriously, where do they get this method from? Maybe the same people who sell them the necessity of baby powder, baby formula and all the other crap? This is a big industry after all, and the previous generation has been largely a victim of baby marketing abuse. We now find out the benefits of breastfeeding over formula (something which Cindy's grandma still believes Cindy should use formula because breastfeeding makes the mother too "attached"), and a few habits taught in hospital by nurses in Hong Kong are now dismissed in newborn care.

For god's sakes, we are wiping an ass, okay? Isaac's ass doesn't have to be perfectly soft and unscratched. The absurdity of this one, sounds like saleswoman in the make-up department telling me that my skin needs 10 steps of cleaning and foundation and make-up to restore "beauty". (Recently there is diaper rash appearing in Isaac’s bottom. I’m not even sure what is the cause of it but we have now completely stopped using baby wipes, and begin applying rash ointment.)

The other thing that keeps popping up is, "Is Isaac warm enough ah?" Please stop asking. Just the day before, Cindy's dad put on another layer of swaddle blanket on top of Isaac when he was asleep, who already has three layers of warmth, without telling us. Cindy later found out that Isaac's backneck was sweaty and asked about the extra layer of blanket. The most fascinating thing is, three decades ago Cindy herself as a newborn had severe resporatory sickness, where her mom now believes it is likely caused to her over-dressing Cindy back in the days.

Oh, speaking of warmth, both grandmas strongly prefer baby clothes that are string-tied over anything else. My mom thinks it’s the best for the baby because buttons are discomforting and over-the-heads are difficult, and Cindy’s mom thinks they are the easiest clothes to put on and off. We can’t find any string-tied clothes in Canada or United States at all – I wonder if it is because of health hazards (strangling of baby). So Cindy’s mom asked Auntie May in Hong Kong to buy a few of those clothes for her (a poor idea to ask a shopaholic with no kids to do that – it turns to become 2 full red-white-blue size bags worth of baby clothing, some more useful than others – but I digress). I tried the string-tied ones, and I don’t really like them because the chest area is fairly open, it always takes awhile to figure out which pairs of strings should be tied together, but most importantly, tying/untying strings at a screaming baby punching and kicking is really not the easiest way to get things done. On a related note, I still wonder who double-knotted the damn thing a couple of days ago when Isaac was starting to cry but needed to go to bath, and Cindy was sleeping (so time is of essence that I can take off Isaac’s clothes as quickly as possible to get to the bathroom to minimize the crying noises heard at the bedroom).

Not everything from grandparents is bad though. There are indeed suggestions and methods that they use on Isaac that does work. I do learn from them, from how to hold the baby to bathing to bottle feeding. But sometimes Cindy’s grandma and my mom seem to believe that their “superior” knowledge needs to be “guided” to us often, even when we aren’t asking for it. Especially my mom. Gosh. Every baby book warns about this, but it does drive me nuts sometimes when it happens.